Do you feel stuck? Maybe some area of your life feels stale, or perhaps you feel trapped in a job and want to make a career change. Maybe there is a relationship you’ve been wanting to leave for years but you can’t bring yourself to. If you’ve known for a while now that something isn’t working for you, but for some reason you can’t seem to make a change, you may want to work with a life transitions coach or therapist. You can also try out these steps:
1. Accept where you are
Before anything else, accept where you are. Rather than rushing to make a change, take a few deep breaths, acknowledge to yourself that you feel stuck, notice what comes up, and let that be okay. Sometimes for life transitions to occur we need a change, sometimes we need a change of perspective, and sometimes we need both.
2. Recognize what’s working for you
Sometimes, stuckness comes from an unresolved internal conflict. You may think you’d do anything you could to change your circumstances, but there may be some not-so-obvious things holding you back. Is there some benefit you’re getting from staying stuck? Maybe you complain about your job all the time and say you want a career change, but you’re not willing to leave because of the great benefits, or you’re afraid you won’t find anything better. Maybe you know your relationship isn’t right for you, but you don’t want to give up the comfort of familiarity.
3. Identify a range of options
Sometimes when we’re stuck, we feel like we don’t have any choices, leading us to feel powerless. If you catch yourself feeling this way, start noticing the choices you are making. A life transitions coach would tell you that inaction, or continuing to do the same thing you’ve been doing, is also a choice. Give yourself some time to brainstorm a variety of possibilities, even if some of them seem unrealistic. When you begin to consider different courses of action, you may realize you have more choices than you thought.
Sometimes when we’re stuck we feel like we have to change everything all at once by making a big change, like moving across the country or ending a long-term relationship. While big changes are sometimes needed, we can get stuck when we delay making any changes if they feel too difficult. If you can’t change your whole situation all at once, experiment with changing one small thing about your life. You might try developing a new bedtime routine, taking a different route to work, trying a new class, or putting yourself in situations where you will meet new people. Sometimes by experimenting with making small changes, we can strengthen our confidence to make bigger changes.
Getting stuck happens in life. Therapy can help you get unstuck by giving you space to accept where you are, recognize internal conflicts, identify a range of options, acknowledge your agency to make changes, and take action. To book a session with a me or one of our therapists who help with career change and life transitions click here.